midnight memories

pepprstark:

i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13

text  or 10 

meladoodle:

*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

text 

spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

text 

dampsandwich:

hold on let me quote the bible so i can win this argument

text 

darrenstummy:

YOU’RE ALL JUST SO FUCKING TALENTED WITH YOUR WRITING AND YOUR DRAWING AND PHOTOSHOP SHIT AND THEN THERE’S ME AND I TRIPPED UP THE STAIRS THIS MORNING 

text 

dutchster:

as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

text 

largecoin:

what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired

text 

neatvibes:

most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

text 
chat 

caramasons:

when all you want is for your favorite character to be happy but all they get to be is dead